Juusanbantai Fukutaicho
by bandgeek9
Summary: The Winter War is over and Ukitake has decided to promote Rukia to vice-captain. The only thing left to do is convince Byakuya to let her have the position. That shouldn't be too hard- right? Wrong.
1. Ukitake

**A/N: Am I the only person who thinks that Rukia's promotion to vice-captain is long overdue? I mean, come on. The only thing stopping her is Byakuya. I still love him though. ^^**

* * *

Ukitake knew perfectly well that he should be anywhere besides up and about, especially since he still hadn't fully recovered from being impaled through the chest*. He knew he should be resting in bed, or perhaps in his office with a cup of tea. He knew that he should be doing the opposite of what he was doing now- practically chasing his fellow captain down the sixth division hall. And yet here he was, trying to do the impossible- make Byakuya Kuchiki see reason.

"Byakuya, please wait, I really think you should reconsider-"

"My answer remains the same as it was before, Ukitake-senpai."

The white haired captain sighed at what looked like the beginning of a very long morning. In all his thousands of years he had never known someone as impossibly, immovably, _stubborn_ as the man who stood in front of him. Byakuya was impossible to argue with, and Ukitake, who almost never fought with another person if he could help it, admittedly wasn't doing a very good job of it. "Byakuya, listen. We both know that Rukia is well above the level of a vice-captain. She defeated the ninth Espada, for crying out loud! Your sister can take care of herself, I assure you-"

"No." Byakuya cut him off again. "I would not let her become a seated officer before and I will not allow her to be your vice-captain now. There is nothing that will make me risk breaking my vow to Hisana. Ask someone else."

"She is the only person in my division who qualifies for the position." At this point, Ukitake was beginning to feel very frustrated. He had no idea that Byakuya's over protectiveness extended to this level- so far that it was comparable to Ichigo Kurosaki. His task was starting to look truly impossible. He had thought that surely, after seeing Rukia's drastic improvement over the last few months, the Kuchiki clan leader would rethink his opinion on the subject, but he was clearly mistaken.

"I apologise, but on this matter I cannot, and will not, change my mind. Good day, Ukitake-senpai." By the time Ukitake looked up, he was already gone- but his reiatsu was soon replaced by someone else's.

"Yo, Shiro-chan, why the frown?" said the dark, purple haired woman who was suddenly yards away from him. He would have jumped in surprise if he hadn't been used to seeing people pop in and out of nowhere.

"Ah, Yoruichi-san. I was just talking to Captain Kuchiki…"

Understanding showed on her face before it split into a wide grin. "Say no more. Still being stubborn, is he? Che. He's a lot more like Ichigo than he cares to admit." Ukitake allowed himself a smile. He had been thinking exactly the same thing a few minutes ago.

"Poor girl. To think that the only thing standing in her way is her dear big brother," Yoruichi went on. She smirked. "No, we can't have that, can we? I'll go talk to him."

"Thank you, Yoruichi-san. I appreciate it."

"Certainly. Anything to help an old friend, eh Shiro-chan?" With that, she grinned wickedly for the last time before shunpo-ing out. Only one thought was in her head- _fun._

Ukitake could only wonder what Byakuya had coming to him.

* * *

***People who read the manga will get this.**

**A/N: And so sets off a chain of events that will have Byakuya insane before the story is finished XD. Hopefully this is more IC than my other fic (Do NOT read it, it's HORRIBLE.) So anyway, please review and tell me what you think.**


	2. Yoruichi

**A/N: Just to clear up any confusion, the nicknames/honorifics I use here aren't necessarily the ones used in the anime. I just like the sound of them.**

Meanwhile in the Sixth Division office, it had been a fairly normal day for Byakuya since his run-in with Ukitake. He and Renji were completing their daily mountain of paperwork in silence and everything was peaceful and quiet. Byakuya prayed to anyone who was listening that it _stayed _quiet. No such luck.

"Hey Byaku-bo! How's it going?" said a horribly familiar voice.

Renji began to fear for his life as Byakuya's jaw clenched visibly- the owner of that voice was sure to put his captain in a bad mood. He wondered if he should run away while he had the chance.

"Byaku-bo!"

A vein pulsing in Byakuya's forehead was the only sign he heard the voice that he was dutifully ignoring.

"OI! BYAKU-BO!" The last word was shouted directly into Byakuya's ear a second after Yoruichi shunpo-ed in through the open window.

The stoic captain fought to keep his face blank, and not to slam his pen down as he was tempted to. "Yoruichi-_san." _The honorific was said through gritted teeth. " May I remind you that I am a captain of the Thirteen Court Squads, and it is therefore proper to refer to me as-"

"Aw, but it just wouldn't feel right to call my _dear_ little friend Byaku-bo by a title after we've known each other for so long, would it?" she asked with a taunting grin. Renji was sure he could see Byakuya's hand inch towards Senbonzakura.

"Why are you here?" Byakuya demanded rather irritably. Still, he kept his face calm and composed. He was _not_ about to let that demon cat ruin his morning.

"Right, I'll just get straight to the point. You see, Byaku-bo, here's the thing about Rukia. She has a big, pointy sword that can freeze you to death before you have time to blink and no one wants to mess with her. Did I mention she's also started on Bankai training?"

Byakuya's eyebrow twitched dangerously. "I see. Tell me- did Ukitake put you up to this or are you a volunteer?"

Yoruichi's smirk grew, if possible, even wider. "You're outnumbered, Byaku-bo." His expression didn't change, but she knew she saw something like dread in his eyes. He quickly covered it up.

"Numbers will get you nowhere. If you've asked me once, you've asked me a thousand times. The answer is still no." _Can't she see it's a lost cause?_ Byakuya thought, trying to kill the demon cat with his best Kuchiki Death Stare. Yoruichi, however, wasn't at all discouraged from this statement and was now eyeing Byakuya with an amused look. _Apparently, she cannot._

"Wow, I can see there was no exaggeration on Ukitake's part. In a contest of stubbornness you can't lose." Yoruichi rolled her eyes.

Byakuya was very close to losing it now. "I do not think you have a full understanding of the situation. I made a promise to Hisana to protect her sister, and I will not deviate from that promise. I almost killed her once- I can't let it happen again."

"And do you think that's what she really meant, Byakuya?" she asked, dropping the nickname and suddenly completely serious. Byakuya was lost on that one.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just remember- you may not be able to lose in a contest of stubbornness, but _I_ can't lose in a contest of persistence. And I have friends," she added on an afterthought. "Well, I guess that's it. Ja ne, Byaku-bo."

Watching a cherry blossom petal float by the Thirteenth Division office window, Ukitake wondered if sending Yoruichi to talk to Byakuya was a good idea after all.

**A/N: Many thanks to my awesome reviewers, E.J. Tyne, Amaratta (thanks for the correction!), Sk8trnerdbleach, Sei Uchiha, and EternityStrike! I'll try to update once a week, but no promises. I've got school and… life. XD**


	3. Kisuke and Soifon

**A/N: I'm sorry for the late update! My doc manager wasn't working for some reason, I had it typed up and everything... *shot* Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Yoruichi shunpo-ed a safe distance away from the Sixth Division before stopping to catch her breath, her trademark grin plastered all across her face. Byakuya obviously thought he had chased her away, but he should know better. If there was anything she loved, it was a challenge. She paused for a moment to get her bearings straight and to figure out where she was. Second Division. _Perfect. Might as well visit-_

"Yoruichi-sama!" The object of Yoruichi's thoughts gasped, hardly able to contain her excitement.

"Hey there, Bee. How's life in the Soul Society been treating you?"

Soifon positively beamed at her idol. "You came to visit! What business do you have in the Seireitei? Would you like to come in? I'll make tea!"

"Nah. That's okay, Bee, I'm just passing through. I just got back from the Sixth- let's just say I've got a little project going on there."

"A project in the Sixth Division? What is it, Yoruichi-sama, maybe I can help!" The tiny captain didn't even consider that she still had an impossible amount of paperwork to finish- Yoruichi's wishes were top priority.

"Oh, I'm just trying to get Byakuya to admit defeat and let his sister be vice-captain. Impossible goal, right?" That was all it took.

"Never, Yoruichi-sama! If it is your desire for Rukia Kuchiki to become a vice-captain then it must be the right thing!" With that, Soifon immediately bolted off to Sixth to smack some sense into a certain ill-tempered taicho.

Yoruichi watched her until she disappeared. _Well, you gotta give the kid a few points for loyalty,_ She thought wryly. Glancing at the clock, she remembered that she was expected at the Urahara Shoten that afternoon, and was late. She vanished from Juuniibantai and reappeared at the Senkaimon seconds later. Kisuke and crew weren't at all surprised when she burst through the door and called a greeting.

"Good afternoon, Yoruichi-dono. The manager is back-"

"Shut up, Ururu! Yer supposed to be working, not running your mouth!"

"You have to work too, Jinta. Ow, stop that! It hurts! Ow, ow, ow!"

It continued on like this, and neither Jinta nor Ururu noticed that Yoruichi had gone away to the back of the shop.

"Kisuke." Urahara should have realised that something was wrong when she started looking down on him with her I-mean-business expression. Should have.

"Good day, Yoruichi! Such a pleasant-"

"I need you to do me a favor. You're going to do it, right?" She began smiling dangerously.

"Oh, dear..."

Meanwhile in the Sixth Division office, Byakuya and Renji were continuing to do paperwork. Well, Byakuya was doing paperwork- his vice-captain was just watching nervously. Poor, afflicted Renji wasn't having the best day. His captain had been shooting him murderous glances every time he dared make a sound and his nerves were frayed. So when a loud screaming noise started coming from outside, he jumped a foot in the air before realizing that it wasn't just screaming, but words.

"IDIOT! MORON! STUBBORN NUMBSKULL!" The petite taicho of Juuniibantai appeared seemingly out of nowhere in front of the paperwork on Byakuya's desk. _Note to self: close the window,_ Renji thought with nothing short of panic.

"YOU IDIOT!" Soifon screamed again. This was not going to turn out well.

"Excuse me? Captain Soifon, what is the meaning of this?" Byakuya demanded, taken aback.

"DON'T WHAT-IS-THE-MEANING-OF-THIS ME! WHAT THE HELL MAKES YOU THINK RUKIA NEEDS YOU BREATHING DOWN HER NECK?! IS IT BECAUSE SHE'S A GIRL?! SEXIST!" Renji winced. Couldn't she at least have the decency to lower her voice? Byakuya's hand was on Senbonzakura for the second time that day.

_Slave driver, _Senbonzakura accused.

_Be quiet, Sen._

_Whatever. You know they're right._

_Whose side are you on?_

Unaware of this silent exchange, Renji's thoughts were directed elsewhere as a new reiatsu approached the building. _Please no. Not him. Anyone but-_

"Hello-oo! Anybody home?" A smiling, maddeningly cheerful Kisuke Urahara. Not good. Very not good. _Oh no._

The effect was instantaneous. Soifon's expression changed from outrage to pure, undiluted hatred in a split second. Byakuya gritted his teeth, the vein in his forehead going stronger than ever. From Renji's experience, he knew that his captain was now in "kill" mode. Granted, he was feeling pretty homicidal himself.

"_You._ What do you think you're doing here?" Soifon was the first to speak. She spit the words out.

"What, I can't just drop in to say hello? I thought my ban was lifted after I helped your side in the war. Or maybe I'm here because I would die a horrible, painful death if I didn't agree to come and ask how Rukia-chan's training is going. We may never know," Kisuke said, opening his fan.

So that was it. Yoruichi's words rang more clearly in Byakuya's head.

_You're outnumbered, Byaku-bo._

_I have friends._

_Damn_ that demon cat.

"SO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST WALTZ IN HERE WHEN YORUICHI NEEDS MY HELP?! HOW _DARE _YOU!" Soifon's yell broke through the silence yet again.

"Well, that isn't very nice! Yoruichi asked (cough) forced me to help, too!"

"COME A LITTLE CLOSER, HAT-N-CLOGS! JUST WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!" Without another word, she launched herself head-on at the former captain.

Urahara spared a second to turn and say, "Oh, and Pineapple, we miss you at the shop," before he disappeared, Soifon close behind.

_Plan B: fail._ Yoruichi thought as she watched her best friend and her kid sister* engage in a one-sided battle. _But does that mean I'm giving up? Heck no._

Needless to say, Byakuya's sanity was never quite the same.

* * *

***Because I think Yoruichi views Soifon as a little sister.**

**A/N: I just realised that I haven't been doing the disclaimers, so here it goes: don't own, never will.**

**I'm not sure if I like this chapter as much as the other ones. Soifon's character is hard to write, it's made of so many extremes. Anyway, reviews are much appreciated.**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: Yunagirl22, EternityStrike, Smile-san, Sk8rnerdbleach, and othchick11! You guys make my day!**


	4. Ichigo and Renji

Renji wasn't sure whether he should feel extremely lucky or extremely unlucky. His chances of dying were significantly lower in the Urahara Shôten, but he was also far more likely to spoil his clean record by committing murder._ Why is it always me? What have I done to deserve-_

"Oh, Pineapple, come here, please!" _What have I done to deserve not even being able to finish a thought?_

"I swear, Hat-n-Clogs, if you're calling me to tell me to scrub one more toilet or anything nasty at all, I'll-"

Kisuke opened his fan. "Nothing of the sort! I just want to ask you a little favor, if it isn't too much."

Renji snorted. "Sure. The last time you asked me for a favor it ended with me getting blackmailed into doing all the dirty work around here. No way." He crossed his arms and scowled for emphasis.

"If you do it, I'll take a week off of your slave labor _I mean_ service time." Kisuke offered quickly.

"What do I have to do?" An offer like that seemed too good to be true.

"Oh, it's easy! All you have to do is go talk to your captain and ask him why Rukia-chan isn't a vice-captain yet. Piece of cake!" Yep, too good to be true.

"What?! Oh, HELL no! He'll kill me! If I have to choose between certain death and putting up with you for an extra week, I'd rather live, thank you very much!"

"Two weeks." _Death or Urahara. Death or Urahara. _Kisuke's infuriating grin settled it.

"Deal."

Ichigo was having a fairly normal day at home with his sisters and Rukia. He had just escaped an argument with the latter, and was grateful to have gotten away with only minor injuries. But does normal ever last? What do you think?

"ICHIGO!"

"Renji, what the hell?!" Ichigo yelped, scrambling up from his bed.

"Entrance by window is better than entrance by door in a cop costume*, right? Come with me."

"You can't just barge into my room on a Sunday morning and tell me to come with you! Where are you going, anyway?" demanded a disgruntled strawberry.

"_We _are going to go talk my captain into letting Rukia have a promotion. You're my backup. Oh, and it's probably a good idea to have Bankai pre activated in case I need to use you as a human shield," Renji explained as casually as he could, keeping the tension out of his voice.

"We're going to do WHAT?! Did you not _see _what happened the last time I 'talked' with Byakuya? I nearly died!" Ichigo said, outraged and terrified at the same time by the memory.

"That was your own fault! Honestly, what did you _think _would happen when you went to ask Byakuya if you could date his sister?" Renji retorted.

"It doesn't matter whose fault it was! Releasing Bankai was uncalled for!"

The pair had reached the Senkaimon and passed through to the Soul Society a few minutes later. Renji took a deep breath.

"Okay, I'm going in. Just wait outside until it sounds like I'm in trouble. And for the sake of your own life, try to stop leaking spiritual pressure by the gallons!"

"Yes, sir," Ichigo said sarcastically. Renji took a few more deep breaths before reappearing in Rokubantai.

Byakuya didn't need to look up to see who it was, but gestured to the paperwork lying on the vice-captain's desk. The two fell into a silence that was broken by Renji in two minutes.

"So, uh, captain," he started nervously. "Did you know that Rukia and I made a bet a while back about who would get to the rank of vice-captain first?"

Byakuya didn't like where this was going. "No, I did not know that. I'm afraid I don't see why you're bringing this up now. You won the bet, didn't you?"

"I _lost_ the bet, captain. Thanks to you. That is sonot fair." It was true. Back in the academy when they made the bet, each had bet that the other would make it to vice-captain first. When Byakuya had made it impossible for Rukia to have a seated position, she won by default.

"That is the consequence of gambling. I still fail to see your point in bringing this up."

"Because I'm about to lose another bet! The one where I said we would become vice-captain within a year of each other. The anniversary of my promotion is next week, remember?"

_Senbonzakura?_

_I hate you. _

"Scatter-"

"Hey there, Byakuya, I was just stopping by and thought I would drop in and-" Renji had to compliment Ichigo's sense of timing.

Somehow, Byakuya managed to ignore the blatant use of his first name. "If this is about Rukia-"

"Well, yeah, it actually kind of is… No, no, no, I don't mean like that!" Byakuya sheathed his sword with a glare. "But don't you think Rukia would make a vice-captain? I mean, she did defeat that guy, what's-his-name. Aaroniero? Without you breathing down her neck."

There went that vein again. Renji tried to signal Ichigo to leave, but he either didn't see or ignored him.

"You have to admit have a point. I mean, come on, Byakuya, you gotta-" Last straw. No one used Byakuya Kuchiki's first name twice in a conversation, much less a conversation about a topic he loathed, and got away with it. By now even Ichigo could see the danger.

"Uh…"

"Bankai. Senbonzakura Kageyoshi."

Ichigo and Renji wasted no time. The Senkaimon was open in the courtyard. They took it at a run.

* * *

***This joke stems from the Bleach OVA, the Sealed Sword Frenzy.**

**A/N: You know the drill. Thanks a lot to everyone who reviewed: Yunagirl22, ikutoJS, EternityStrike, xXxMiserableLoveFairyxXx, skymaster23 (You're right. It's fixed.), Sk8rnerdbleach, Neverwinternightsgirl777, and darklover. **

**Oh, and by the way, I'll take requests for people to come and torture Byakuya. ;)**


	5. Kiyone and Sentaro

**A/N: One of my reviewers requested for Kaien's ghost to be in a chapter. I don't know if they were being serious or not, but it's a good idea, so I'm using it. This chapter has some mild angst in it, but the rest should hopefully be funny.**

* * *

At approximately 9: 00 P.M. the same day, Ukitake and Kyoraku found themselves standing outside the doors to Yonbantai- the former pondering the reason they were both there, and the latter too drunk to care. They looked at each other for a few seconds and then spoke at the same time.

"Another attack, Juu-chan?"

"Alcohol poisoning? You should know better."

"No."

"No."

"Then why are you here?"

"Why are _you_ here?"

"Why are you both here?" The voice coming from behind them made the two men jump, Shunsui snapping out of his drunken stupor.

"Unohana-taicho! W-we didn't see you there! W-what brings you to the Fourth Division? Are you sick or something?" Kyoraku rambled on nervously while Ukitake rolled his eyes. Watching his best friend interact with the healer never failed to amuse him- at least when she wasn't scaring living daylights out of _him_, too.

"I work here, Kyoraku-taicho. It's only natural for me to come by at night once in a while to check on things. You still haven't answered my question," Unohana reminded him patiently.

"I received a Hell Butterfly asking me to come as quickly as possible. I assumed it was for a checkup," Ukitake responded quickly before Shunsui could make an even bigger fool of himself.

"What Ukitake said," Shunsui mumbled.

"Well, this is certainly odd. I know I didn't call either of you here." Passing it off as a mistake, the men turned to leave, before they were cut off by a black cat landing in their path.

"About time you two got here. Turn around, I'm changing forms," Yoruichi said. They did the requested task- Shunsui rather reluctantly- and the demon cat transformed back into her human, naked self. She accepted a fresh outfit from Unohana before continuing.

"Not that I care about people seeing me naked- but Shunsui is a pervert and Ukitake's reactions are no fun at all," Yoruichi complained. "Anyway- yo, Shiro-chan, Shunsui-chan. Evening, Retsu-chan."

Unohana nodded politely and Ukitake, since it was clear now who had gathered them there, asked, "Why are we here?"

"Strategy meeting, duh. You still want Rukia as your vice-captain, don't you?"

Ukitake looked like he had been struck by sudden realization. "You don't mean- you're still doing that? It isn't necessary- I appreciate your efforts already."

"Oh, but it is, Shiro-chan. Now it's personal- I've never once lost to Byakuya before, and I intend to keep it that way," Yoruichi said, cracking her knuckles. "Now Retsu-chan- you're the medic here. Tell me, what are the main things that can set off tuberculosis?"

Unohana wasn't sure exactly what she meant, but gave the best answer she could. "Well, over exerting yourself physically, of course- or becoming too agitated, breathing in unclean air, or being under a lot of stress."

"Perfect." Ukitake didn't like this topic at all- that look couldn't be good. "Stress… Shiro-chan, let me ask you this. Can you have an attack on cue?

The mentioned captain had _why _written all over his face.

"_Kiyone and Sentaro, _Shiro-chan. Kiyone and Sentaro." Kyoraku understood. _Oh._

"KIYONE! KIYONE, _WAKE UP! _KIYONE!" Juusanbantai's third seat shattered any semblance of peace in the Thirteenth Division to pieces in a second flat.

"SHUT UP, SPAZ MONKEY, I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT!" The other Third seat screamed in response.

"YOU'RE SHOUTING, TOO!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG THAT YOU'RE SHOUTING ABOUT?!"

"TAICHO IS SICK! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT FOR BEING SUCH A BAD SUBORDINATE!"

Kiyone gasped, horrified. Her screaming session with Sentaro of seconds before was completely forgotten. "NO! Taicho is sick? How much blood was there?"

"I don't know, it was a Hell Butterfly. We have to get to the Fourth, _now!_"

"WELL THEN HURRY UP, SPAZ MONKEY!"

"HEY! I'LL GET THERE BEFORE YOU!"

"NO YOU WON'T! I CARE ABOUT TAICHO TEN TIMES MORE THAN YOU DO!"

"OH YEAH?! WELL I RESPECT TAICHO _FIFTY _TIMES MORE THAN YOU!"

They bickered the entire way to Yonbantai. By the time they actually reached the door, Sentaro was hoarse.

"CAPTAIN UNOHANA!" Kiyone yelled with her still-working voice, then smiled at being able to do something better than her male counterpart.

"I'm sorry, Kotetsu-san, Kotsubaki-san, but Ukitake-taicho needs his rest now. If it becomes too noisy in his room, he may become stressed and have a relapse. I believe that's what caused his attack in the first place," Unohana said, reciting the lines that Yoruichi gave her perfectly. A loud, hacking cough coming from the next room accented her words nicely.

"SEE?! I TOLD YOU IT WAS YOUR FAULT, BOOGER GIRL!" Sentaro seemed to have somehow regained his voice.

"HOW CAN YOU BLAME THIS ON ME?! IT'S OBVIOUSLY THAT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S MAKING TAICHO STRESSED!" Kiyone then proceeded to break into loud sobs. "TAICHOOOOOOOOO!"

"Just be careful around Ukitake-taicho while he's recovering and he should be fine," Unohana cautioned, before leaving to report back to the "conference room," as Yoruichi called it. Although it was hardly necessary- the other three had been able to hear the third seats from across four hallways and a closed door.

"I hope I'm not giving them too much anxiety…" Ukitake hoped in vain.

Back at Juusanbantai, Kiyone couldn't sleep- whenever she tried, she kept having nightmares. Sometimes she was sure she could hear a familiar voice, although she couldn't quite place a finger on it. There it was again. Someone was calling her… someone she knew, and who obviously knew her.

"Who is it?" Nothing. For once in her life, she wished Sentaro was there. She thought she had imagined it, but as she turned around-

"Oi! Kiyone! Don't you go ignoring me, I want to talk to you! Sheesh! What do I have to do to get some attention around here?"

"K-kaien-fukutaicho!"

"Yeah, what?" Kaien, or his ghost, or whatever, obviously wasn't bothered at all by the fact that he was supposed to have been long dead and buried six feet underground, and couldn't see why Kiyone should be so upset about it.

"You're supposed to be dead!"

"Duh. Just listen already, okay? Look, you know the captain's health isn't great. Why are you always competing with Sentaro, then, if it only makes more work for him to sort you out?"

"TAICHO NEEDS ME MORE THAN SENTARO!" Of this she was absolutely certain.

"He needs both of you. I hate to break it to you, but with the way things are going, you and Sentaro are going to take about ten years off his lifespan. He needs a vice-captain to make it easier, not harder for him, and neither you nor Sentaro fit the bill. You get what I'm saying? To tell you the truth, one of the last thoughts I had before I died was that Rukia should be my replacement as vice-captain."

"So… What you're saying is, that if Taicho has Rukia as vice-captain, he'll get better?" Kiyone asked dubiously.

"In a nutshell, yeah."

"Then that's my new mission! But you still haven't told me how you came back to life."

Kaien shrugged. "Beats me. It's _your _dream."

Kiyone woke up covered in sweat and very confused. But that only lasted a minute before she took a deep breath and shouted the name she had shouted so many times before: "_SENTARO!!"_

"KIYONE! It's 4 in the morning, what do you want?"

"YOU IDIOT! I TOLD YOU IT WAS YOUR FAULT UKITAKE-TAICHO IS SICK! But I know how to help him be less stressed," she added with a smug, I-know-something-you-don't-know smirk.

"What is it?" Sentaro asked suspiciously.

"Taicho needs a vice-captain! Rukia should be vice-captain! It would make taicho feel better!"

"Really? Well in that case, I WANT RUKIA TO BE VICE-CAPTAIN MORE THAN YOU!"

"NO WAY! NO ONE WANTS RUKIA TO BE VICE-CAPTAIN MORE THAN ME!"

"PROVE IT!"

"RACE YOU TO THE KUCHIKI MANSION!"

The pair set off, shunpo-ing as fast as they could- bickering all the way, of course.

"I WIN!"

"NO! I DID!"

"JUST KNOCK ON THE DOOR ALREADY!" Sentaro did as he was told, and soon after, Byakuya opened the door. He had been staying awake all night in the case of an intrusion from the "Demon Cat Army" as he dubbed it. Still, hurry was evident- he was hastily dressed, not wearing his kenseiken, haori, or even his scarf. However, he had remembered to bring Senbonzakura. There was sleep in his eyes and he was clearly not expecting what happened next- being tackled nearly to the ground by two hysterical third seats.

"KUCHIKI TAICHO!"

"KUCHIKI TAICHO!"

"OUR CAPTAIN HAD AN ATTACK!"

_Not surprising. Is that all they came to tell me-_

"IT'S BECAUSE OF STRESS!"

_Also_ _not surprising_.

"KAIEN SAID SO!"

_Wait, what?_

"KAIEN SAYS THAT RUKIA HAS TO BE VICE-CAPTAIN OR HE WON'T GET BETTER!"

_Not again!_

"Kotetsu, it's early and you are clearly having hallucinations. If you want to live, I would suggest that you and Kotsubaki stop annoying me and return to your own division immediately," Byakuya said as coldly as he could manage. He turned, intending to return to his house, but was immediately cut off by a pleadingly desperate looking Sentaro. Annoyed as he was at Ukitake, he still didn't want to give him the trouble of having to find two new subordinates. He was trapped. One thing was for certain- tomorrow was going to be another very long day. _Somebody please shoot me._

* * *

**A/N: Kiyone and Sentaro, you gotta love 'em. Yay for the overzealous protectors of our favorite TB victim, am I right? The next chapter will have more Byakuya, I promise! And I'm definitely going to include zanpakuto spirits later on, you can be sure about that.**

**A great big thank you to the many awesome people who reviewed: Illidan the Half Demon, Insanity Lord, Sk8trnerdbleach, Neverwinternightsgirl777, twilightrose17, Yunagirl22, girlX901, phoenix-aerith, EternityStrike, and ichirukifan13 (you reviewed twice!)**

**Love it or hate it, let me know!**


	6. Sogyo no Kotowari and Yachiru

**A/N: ****Gomennasai for the late update- I've had a busload of homework for the past few days and barely had the spare time to think. Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Listening to his third seats yelling at each other, Ukitake was starting to have some serious doubts about this plan. Unohana and Kyoraku seemed to be alright with it, but Yoruichi's expression was getting deadlier and more determined by the minute. She couldn't be reasoned with, but that didn't mean he couldn't try.

"Um, Yoruichi-san, why did I have to have a real attack? Kiyone and Sentaro might be in trouble right now and I can't-" yet another spurt of coughing stopped him from finishing. Kiyone shouted again, and this time, they could feel Byakuya's spiritual pressure. Was she saying something about Kaien? Ukitake tried to get up, but Unohana shot him a look and he stayed sitting.

"There are other people besides the double catastrophe that you need to convince, Shiro," Yoruichi said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "People who will actually know whether you're sick or not. They should be here in, let's see- about thirty seconds." Ukitake's curiosity piqued. Who-

"JUU-CHAN!!" Even Unohana jumped, startled. Kyoraku was jerked awake out of his nap. Ukitake turned around disbelievingly, and sure enough, there were two small twin boys standing where there was once empty space.

"Juu-chan… is Juu-chan sick again?" One of the boys asked. The pair of them looked sad enough to melt the coldest heart. Which is exactly what Yoruichi intended to do.

"I'm afraid so," Yoruichi said, her face almost comically tragic. "You see, Juu-chan is under a lot of pressure as a captain and sometimes it just gets to him-" Ukitake opened his mouth to protest, but Kyoraku elbowed him in the ribs before Unohana could send another one of her doom glances in their direction. Sogyo no Kotowari was clearly buying every word that came out of Yoruichi's mouth.

"If only he had someone to lift some of the responsibility once in a while… Maybe he wouldn't always be so sick…" She sighed despondently. "Such a shame…"

At this, the twin who didn't speak before burst into tears. "WAHHHHHHHHH! I DON'T WANT JUU-CHAN TO DIEEEEEEEEE!"

His brother followed suit almost immediately. It was quite a pathetic sight- two children sitting in the middle of the floor, bawling their eyes out. Yoruichi continued talking as if she didn't hear them. Ukitake looked incredulous at her tactlessness.

"if only someone would be willing to talk to Captain Kuchiki- who's currently standing outside the Kuchiki Mansion near the Sixth Division- into swallowing his pride-"

"WE'RE OFF TO THE KUCHIKI MANSION! BYE, JUU-CHAN!" Sogyo no Kotowari called in perfect unison. Yoruichi always knew the perfect thing to say.

"You don't want to go wandering off in a strange place by yourselves- make sure you take Yachiru with you, she knows the place pretty well!" She said, and then grinned at her own genius. Byakuya was dead meat.

"OKAY!" As soon as the zanpakuto twins disappeared, Ukitake turned on the demon cat.

"That was uncalled for and unnecessary."

"Maybe so, Shiro-chan, but I think you'll find it has the required results." Yoruichi's smirk morphed into a full grin. The demon cat strikes again.

A few miles away in Juuichibantai, no one said a word when a tiny pink whirlwind whipped through the door shouting, "I'M GOING TO GO PLAY WITH SOGY-CHAN AND KOTO-CHAN AND BYAKUSHI, SEE YOU LATER!!" It was better not to ask questions.

Byakuya couldn't believe the world could hate him so much. For that matter, he had never thought that that amount of hatred actually existed. Apparently, he was wrong.

"YOU HAVE TO LISTEN!" That was Kiyone. Byakuya thought of his honor as the Kuchiki clan leader to keep his face straight. This had been going on for _an hour straight._ Kiyone and Sentaro had actually been taking cough drops and caffeine tablets to stay awake. This was persistence with a vengeance- Byakuya was starting to have suicidal thoughts by the time the newest addition to the DCA* cleared the hill. It was… a pink and blue tornado?

_What in the world?_ A crippling force hit him in the chest and he staggered to keep his balance.

"BYA-CHAN!"

"BYA-CHAN!"

"BYAKUSHI!"

_Kill me now, Senbonzakura. _Byakuya pleaded silently.

_Hm? No way. This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time._

_I hate you with a burning passion._

_The feeling is shared, __Byakushi._ Senbonzakura taunted, smirking behind his mask.

The crippling force was none other than an ever-hyper Yachiru. Right behind her were a pair of what appeared to be elves, dressed in pointed hats and shoes.

_His zanpakuto. He's setting his zanpakuto on me? Maybe I should reconsider killing his third seats._ The said third seats were at least stunned into silence upon this new arrival. Still, there was absolutely no improvement as far as noise level went as Sogyo no Kotowari remembered what they were there for. The spirit dubbed "Sogy-chan" burst into tears while "Koty-chan" acted as the mouth for the group.

"BYA-CHAN WANTS JUU-CHAN TO DIE! BYA-CHAN IS SO MEEEEEEEEAAAAN!" He wailed. Byakuya was trained for many things, but handling three sobbing five-year-olds was not one of them. Yachiru, refusing to be left out, screamed louder than Sogy-chan and Koty-chan combined.

"BYAKUSHI IS MEAN TO WHITEY-CHAN!" Some time during the chaos, Kiyone and Sentaro had left to do their planning elsewhere. Well, that was one plus.

"WHY DOES BYA-CHAN WANT JUU-CHAN TO DIE?! JUU-CHAN IS ALWAYS NICE TO BYA-CHAN!" Sogy-chan had finally spoken, completing the trio of immature shouting voices. They were pulling at his sleeves, his arms, even his hair. None of the others before them had actually physically touched him. That was it. He was tired, his own zanpakuto hated him, and he was irritated beyond human imagination. Screw honor.

Throwing pride to the wind, he finally broke down and shouted, "SILENCE! Staying here for hours will do nothing to change my mind. Remove yourselves immediately from the Kuchiki estate if you don't wish to test my patience further!" His eyes gleamed with fury that even Yachiru couldn't stand up to.

Sobbing harder than ever before, Sogyo no Kotowari shot one more tearful glance in Byakuya's direction before they disappeared with Yachiru. The dark haired man, angry though he was, felt the slightest twinge of guilt seeing the twins' tear-streaked faces. He brushed it off and retreated back into the relative safety of his house, wishfully hoping that the madness was over. If only he knew.

* * *

***DCA= Demon Cat Army **

**A/N: This chapter will only make sense to those of you who watch the most recent filler arc. If you haven't seen Sogyo no Kotowari yet, I suggest you look them up. They're too cute! There was no way I was leaving them out of the story.**

**Arrigato to those who reviewed: ****xXxMiserableLoveFairyxXx, Lord Slayer, Yunagirl22, Sk8rnerdbleach, the eville pie, Neverwinternightsgirl777, Frenchie-chan, twilightrose17, kriss-uchiha, michelle, and Illidan the Half Demon! I'm hoping to get up to 50 reviews with this chapter. Remember to vote in the poll!**


	7. Momo, Toshiro, and Rangiku

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who voted in the poll! Rangiku, Toshiro, and Momo won with 3 votes, so I'm doing them next!**

* * *

No one in the Sixth Division dared speak a word when Byakuya stormed into work that day, looking hectic and demented with barely contained rage flashing across his sleepless face. They attributed his out of character behavior to the fact that it was his and Renji's turn to make trips to the other divisions, blissfully clueless to the torture he was going through. Still, it didn't help that Renji had called in sick- no one wanted to tell an angry Byakuya that he had to do the entire division's work for day. A collective sigh of relief was audible when he had left the doors again.

Meanwhile in the DCA headquarters, (the Fourth Division office) Yoruichi was already in the planning stages of another brilliant idea. Unohana had left the room to see to a patient, Kyoraku was fast asleep, and Ukitake still looked rather worried- especially since he saw that Yoruichi had taken Unohana's schedule clipboard and was looking through it.

"Hinamori… her next appointment is Hinamori- who's the friend of Toshiro and Rangiku! That's it! And the fifth division is in charge of sending messages, so it's perfect!" Yoruichi had a breakthrough. Ukitake didn't have any idea what she was talking about, but wasn't sure he wanted anything to do with it. He settled for looking confused.

"Um, sorry, but what does the Fifth Division's vice-captain have to do with this?"

"Only everything, Shiro-chan." Yoruichi rolled her eyes but couldn't be bothered to explain. "Retsu! Hey, Retsu-chan! Come here for a sec?" In the next few minutes, she had a scheme worked out that Unohana would share with Hinamori.

"Hinamori is friends with Rukia, so she won't mind helping. Do you remember all that?" Unohana nodded. She wasn't sure why she was participating in something as childish as this, but was willing to lend her help where it was needed. Hinamori knocked on the door to be let in.

"Eh? You mean she hasn't been promoted yet? I thought- I mean, after everything she did…" Hinamori said after hearing a brief summarization of the situation.

"No, she hasn't. Captain Ukitake would have promoted her, but Captain Kuchiki wouldn't allow him to." Unohana explained.

"Oh, then I would be happy to help! Rukia is my friend- and she deserves that position!" Hinamori smiled cheerfully at the idea of helping and then shunpo-ed to the Tenth Division to visit some other friends.

Hitsugaya was doing paper work, like always. Rangiku was at least trying to look like she was doing paperwork but unfortunately, not succeeding. That fact that she was reeling drunk didn't do much in her favor. Her captain growled a warning.

"Matsumoto…"

"Oh hi, Captain Whitey… didn't see you there…"

"MATSUMOTO!"

If Hinamori hadn't timed her entrance perfectly, the next things she might have seen would have been frozen sake bottles, a passed out Rangiku, and an angrily shouting Shiro-chan.

"Shiro-chan, hello!" Momo chirped happily.

"It's Captain Hitsugaya!"

"Hitsugaya-kun, I was wondering if you would help me with something." She ignored the "captain" quip as if she hadn't heard it.

He considered it. "What kind of thing is it?"

"Well, me and some people think Rukia should be a vice-captain, because she's strong enough. As the acting captain of the Fifth Division, I'm going to ask people I know from other divisions to send letters and Hell Butterflies through the Fifth. And I'm starting a petition, and asking the other division leaders to mention it when Captain Kuchiki comes around for visits today. Can you do it, Hitsugaya-kun?"

"It's Captain Hitsugaya, and I barely even know that Rukia girl. Why do you need my help?"

"Please? You don't have anything to lose."

Matsumoto stifled a giggle. There was no way her captain could say no to Hinamori.

"Fine, I'll do it."

Within an hour, Byakuya was going insane. He had had no less than _six _Hell Butterflies land on him from various members of various squads, all saying the same thing in different words. One particularly disrespectful message had said, "Gawd, would you get over yourself already?" This was followed by a series of expletives. It was lucky that the person sent it anonymously, or he would have faced the same fate as that butterfly, instant shredding. If that wasn't enough, Byakuya had been chewed out about it in _every division._ Yes, even the first. From Yamamoto's proclamation that Rukia was becoming "an excellent soldier," to a repeat of the yelling fit Soifon had given him before, to Kira's melancholy statement that Rukia was almost as strong as he was, _the subject would not drop. _He was only at the Fourth Division and felt like screaming- that is, if he wasn't above such behavior. He got out of Yonbantai as quickly as possible after Unohana's comment that Rukia hadn't been in the Fourth Division due to injuries in a long time. He was grateful that the Fifth Division was next- at least Momo Hinamori wasn't likely to yell, whine, scream, hit, or pester him.

That relief was short lived, however, as he walked in the door and saw Hinamori with about fifty Hell Butterflies ready to be sent. Forget about not screaming. Byakuya _ran_, using faulty shunpo and screaming "KILL ME!" all the way back to the safety of his own division. He slammed the door to his office, panting heavily, only to realize he couldn't find his desk under the heaps of letters that were there instead. He closed his eyes, hoping it would disappear. When it didn't, he took a deep breaths, hyperventilated a little, and then took off, taking care to get in and out of the Seventh, Eighth, and Ninth Divisions before they could say a _word_ about his sister.

So far so good, until he reached the Tenth Division. That vein in his forehead was pounding so hard, it was a wonder he didn't have a stroke, and his eye twitched so fast you could barely see it. Good thing Matsumoto was too drunk to see that, or she might have been scared away.

"Captain Kuchiki!" She exclaimed with slurred speech. "How's are ya? Here to sign the petition?"

"Petition?"

"The one for Rukia to be da vice-captain, ya know! Cause her brother won' let her, cuz' he's meeeeeeeeeeaaan. Wouldn' it be funny if you signed it, then he would have to!" Matsumoto giggled stupidly, obviously drunk out of her mind. Byakuya twitched violently. He could smell the alcohol on her breath from across the room. Only one thought was in his head, and it was in caps lock: _GET ME OUT OF HERE._

Toshiro's arrival was something of a rescue. "MATSUMOTO! EXACTLY HOW MUCH SAKE HAVE YOU HAD TODAY?! IT'S 11:00 IN THE MORNING AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRUNK!"

"Oh, don't yell, Whitey-Whitey-taicho. Only ten bottles, give or take."

Twitch. "MATSUMOTO!"

This excuse to leave was as good as any, Byakuya thought. He didn't make it out the door.

"Hold on, Kuchiki. Matsumoto has a point, you know- she tends to say some very wise things when she's drunk. You don't have to answer now," He added as Byakuya let out another massive twitch and glanced at the door, "but think about it. Oh, and I've got a few letters for you-" Byakuya had never gotten out of a place so quickly. Tripping over his robes and not even looking where he was going, he stumbled right into the next place on his list- Eleventh Division.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the amount of HitsuHina in this chapter if you don't like it.** **You can ignore it if that's the case. The next chapter will be the Zaraki and co., as they had second place in the poll.**

**Writing Byakuya OOC is **_**immensely **_**fun, you have no idea. That and a drunk Matsumoto. Tell me if it's funny or not, I can't tell. I was too tired when I wrote it. Domo Arrigato to the people who reviewed the last chapter: Insanity Lord, Neverwinternightsgirl777 (that's the first time I got it right without looking!), acer-sigma, Illidan the Half Demon, Yunagirl22, tlg, twilightrose17, Master Solo, anime1lverme, Sk8rnerdbleach, Bag o' Moon Frogs, Lord Slayer, Eowynd, kRyStAlSaLt3aRz, and kriss-uchiha! This story is starting to get popular, it's amazing!**


	8. Eleventh Company

**A/N: I know, it's been more like a week and a half than a week. My parents have been on my case because apparently I had Bs in a couple of my classes. That's right. Bs. The **_**horror. **_**Enjoy.**

* * *

As Byakuya realized where he was, he struggled to appear as calm as possible. The last thing he wanted here was a fight. Still, if you looked closely enough, you could still see one eye twitching. If this wasn't over in five minutes or less, someone was going to get shredded. He took a minute to somewhat fix his ruffled appearance. He still had some pride.

"Yo, Kuchiki. You here for the division check?" Kenpachi's voice barked from the next room. Byakuya sighed in relief, an odd thing in the Eleventh Division. At Kenpachi wasn't likely to beg, pester, cry, or scream at him. But as soon as he reached the door, he stopped dead. Just _how _exactly had Yachiru pulled this off? Zaraki's office was covered, literally _covered _with pink, sparkly signs and banners, all sporting messages like "Promote Rukia!" and "Kuchiki for Vice-captain!" Zaraki himself was wearing a painfully pink T-shirt that read, "Suck it up and get over yourself already!" Byakuya felt a sudden urge to toss up his breakfast.

Zaraki was thinking along the same lines as Byakuya. _How did I let Yachiru talk me into this?_ It was so unfair. She had pulled out the puppy dog eyes on him and begged him to do "something nice for her friends, Sogy-chan and Koty-chan." Although he had to admit, when he agreed to let her decorate the division he hadn't expected quite so much pink and glitter. This was the last time he would ever let Yachiru and Yumichika double-team. Oh, and the T-shirts.

"Oh, _hello, _Captain Kuchiki! What do you think of the Division's new decorations? Beautiful, isn't it? I helped, of course, to make it absolutely perfect! Notice how each banner has _just _the right balance of ribbons and glitter!" Oh, dear _God _no. Not Yumichika. Byakuya was not about to put up with the infamous narcissist in the state he was in. He was still barely hanging on to his sanity.

"Feathers-chan did the sparkly! Do you like it, Byakushi? Huh, do you?" Yachiru piped up eagerly from her captain's shoulder. Both she and Yumichika were wearing shirts in the same shade of bright pink- the former's saying "Byakushi is mean to Ruki-chan!" and the latter's saying "Over protectiveness is un-beautiful!"

"This shirt makes me feel even more beautiful than before! It really brings out my eyes, don't you think? Of course, it's all for the cause- Rukia for vice-captain!" Yumichika giggled delightedly and clapped his hands. Byakuya looked extremely traumatized. So much for keeping his breakfast down- he grabbed the nearest wastebasket and emptied the contents of his stomach into it. Kenpachi looked on with something like sympathy.

"Hey, if you think this is bad, wait until you see Ik-"

"Captain, do I seriously have to do this? I think I remember _specifically _telling you I didn't want to wear the shirt!" the topic of their discussion flash stepped in with disgust written all over his face. He too was wearing a pink T-shirt, one that read "Come back when you find your brain." How disrespectful. Byakuya glared.

"Kuchiki, man, you're really being stupid. Just promote your sister already so I can get out of this stupid thing!" Ikkaku snapped. He threw a withering look at Yachiru, who pouted in return.

"Madarame, I am warning you, I'm in no mood to tolerate disrespect today, nor am I ever," Byakuya said as stiffly as he could manage, while what he really wanted to do was scream.

"I DON'T CARE! I'M FREAKING DESPERATE HERE! SHRED ME, WHATEVER, I AM NOT WEARING THIS DAMN SHIRT ANOTHER SECOND!" Ikkaku clearly had no problem with screaming to his heart's content. How Byakuya envied the common born sometimes…

"Oh Ikkaku, please, you're embarrassing us! Throwing fits in such an unsightly manner isn't beautiful in the least!" Yumichika chastised.

"I DON'T CARE!"

""Baldy-chan didn't want to wear the shirt," Yachiru chimed in again. "Braidy-chan had to blackmail him!" She laughed. "You should have seen Baldy-chan's face! He looked like he was going to faint! Wouldn't that be funny? He was all white!"

"SHUT _UP!"_

Byakuya started sneaking toward the door. Maybe no one would notice him…

"Hey, Kuchiki, wait up!" Kenpachi shouted after him. Byakuya had forgotten about him while the three other idiots were busy arguing. He tensed up.

"What?"

The war crazed captain grinned. "Well, I was just thinking, your sister, that Rukia girl- she's at least at the same level as Ichigo Kurosaki when we first fought, and he won." He paused for a moment to see if his fellow captain saw where he was going. He did, and he didn't like it at all. Kenpachi had better not be thinking anything close to what Byakuya thought he was thinking, or he would be the first person to be shredded. He would be destroyed by the power of a million blades before he could come within a mile of Rukia. Kenpachi saw that Byakuya understood and widened his grin, looking exactly like the fight-loving maniac that he was. "If your kid sister can survive a fight with me, will you let Ukitake promote her?" Although it was genuine question, Zaraki obviously didn't care whether the youngest Kuchiki was promoted or not- he had fighting on the brain.

Byakuya stiffened even more. "I swear by my honor as a Kuchiki, Zaraki- if you even come within a sword's distance of my sister-"

"Fight me?" Kenpachi interrupted hopefully. He had never fought against the formidable captain of the Sixth Squad, but one man against thousands of tiny, razor-sharp blades sounded like his idea of a field day. He was already imagining it. He might even be able to take off his eye patch…

"Slice you down before you can say 'zanpakuto,'" Byakuya corrected coldly.

"Easy man, I'm just sayin' that maybe you're getting a little obsessive. I mean, you banned all blades sharper than a butter knife from your house just so the kid wouldn't cut herself. Isn't that kinda… you know, psychotic?" Kenpachi rolled his eyes. Even he didn't get that protective with his daughter. Byakuya twitched, quickly losing all of the sanity he had just regained. A glance at Kenpachi made him remember why he had gotten sick before. Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Yachiru were still arguing over the T-shirts. He considered throwing up again.

"But Ikkaku, that shade up pink matches beautifully with your red eye shadow!"

"Shut up! It isn't eye shadow!"

"You shut up, cue-ball!"

"DON'T CALL ME- GAH! GET _OFF, _VICE-CAPTAIN! THAT ISN'T CANDY! THAT'S MY HEAD!"

"CUE-BALL'S HEAD TASTES BETTER THAN CANDY!"

Byakuya couldn't hold it in anymore. Holding his stomach and praying he didn't destroy his reputation by vomiting in public, he bolted from Juuichibantai at least as fast as he had from his last stop, and shunpo-ed all the way to the next destination on his list, which at the time sounded considerably more inviting than the Eleventh- the Twelfth. Surely Kurotsuchi was too wrapped up in his research to bother over such a pointless matter as a promotion- hey, if that's what Byakuya wanted to believe to make himself feel better, who's to stop him?

* * *

**A/N: I had a lot of fun with this chapter. Mayuri and Nemu are next, and I've already got a chapter planned out for them. By the way, unless you guys have any more ideas, this fic will probably be over in a few more chapters. But I'm planning on a sequel, so don't worry!**

**I would like to thank all the people who reviewed (I didn't imagine this story would be so popular- 15 reviews on the last chapter!): kRyStAlT3aRz, iice usagii, Yunagirl22, acer-sigma, Illidan the Half Demon, Neverwinternightsgirl777, tlg, ichirukifan13, Bag O' Moon Frogs, Renji9031, expressionist868, St8rnerdbleach, darklover, Alien9, and wutai flea! I'm starting to sound like a broken record…**


	9. Mayuri and Nemu

**A/N: Okay, here's how it's going to go. It'll be this chapter, the next chapter, and then… the final chapter! I'm really excited for it- I already know exactly how it's going to end. Then, of course, I'm doing a sequel.**

* * *

As soon as Captain Kuchiki entered the Twelfth Division Headquarters, an overwhelming stench filled his nose. This was nothing unexpected, of course, considering his location. Still, in all the time he had spent staying as far away from this particular area as possible, he had forgotten just how disgusting it really was. An unseated division member saw him and nodded silently toward the door of Research and Development, clearly indicating that Captain Kurotsuchi was in the middle of an experiment and not to be disturbed. Byakuya nodded back in return. The putrid fumes were beginning to make him dizzy- it was a good thing he no longer had anything in his stomach. He cautiously approached the door- you could never be too careful in a place like this- reached for the handle, and then stopped. From the sound of it, some poor wretch was being tortured in the room. As he listened further, he could hear several crashes, small explosions, and what sounded like a person screaming.

"Hm… exhibit C, contains significant traces of carbon monoxide- Nemu! Are you writing all of this down like I told you to?" Mayuri's voice snapped.

"Yes, Mayuri-sama," A softer voice said. "The data is all recorded in the proper order, just as you said."

"Hmph. Good." The crashes and laboratory sounds continued. Byakuya opened the door a crack, intending to go inside, but the smell almost knocked him off his feet. The door was closed again before either of the scientists noticed.

"Nemu, do you hear something?"

"No, Mayuri-sama. Look- that test subject has fallen into a coma from our extensive research."

"Hn. Get rid of him. It's not like anyone can recognize him as a human anymore anyway."

"Yes, Mayuri-sama." Their conversation continued on like this. Mayuri and Nemu were still very unaware of the man waiting outside the lab, who was beginning to feel extremely ill at ease._ What were they doing in there?_

"I need someone new to test on!" Mayuri complained suddenly. "The insignificant unseated officers aren't working anymore!"

"The other captains are already unhappy that you experimented on their unseated officers, Mayuri-sama. Who do you intend to use instead?" After that there were several more crashes and a dull thud. It sounded horribly like someone being thrown across a table full of glass beakers- which is probably exactly what it was.

"You dare question me?!" the captain's crazed voice was furious now. Byakuya winced visibly and flinched away from the door. Captain Kurotsuchi was one of the few people who genuinely scared him- it was impossible to tell if the man even had a species anymore. However, the voice was no longer angry, but thoughtful.

"I need someone with _power. _A vice-captain's level at least. The weaklings we've been using simply aren't strong enough to provide adequate results. And not you. I need a real human." The dark haired captain stiffened at the word _vice-captain- _under normal circumstances, he would have convinced himself it was just a coincidence, but he was on the edge.

"Mayuri-sama, you won't be permitted to research on the other divisions' vice-captains. Yamamoto-soutaicho said he would put a restraining order on you if-"

"Damn it girl, I _know _that! I won't use a real one, but I need someone with the power of one!" Mayuri lashed, irritated that he had to take time away from his precious studies to explain things to his stupid daughter. "An unseated officer! Someone disposable! Is there anyone in any division that fits that description?"

There was a long pause- or at least it seemed that way to Byakuya. "Rukia Kuchiki of the Thirteenth Division," Nemu finally replied. Byakuya gritted his teeth and dug his fingernails into the palms of his hands. _They are not even going there. Not if they want to live._ His overprotective older brother instinct automatically kicked in, making him completely forget that he was borderline insane. _He had better not. _If that… thing even attempted to approach Rukia with a scalpel, it was war.

"Rukia? Who the hell is that?"

"Captain Kuchiki's younger sister. Blood type: A. Species-"

"I don't care about that! Does she have power or not?!"

"Yes, Mayuri-sama. And her zanpakuto, as well." No. No _way _was Byakuya going to let this happen. He'd sooner let Kenpachi fight with Rukia at his full power before allowing those inhuman freaks to go anywhere near her. Perhaps it was time to ask Yamamoto-soutaicho about that restraining order.

"Fine, then. Bring her here, and I'll see if she's any use to me." That was _it. _Byakuya was at the end of his rope just listening. He plugged his nose and bravely slammed the door open.

"JUST WHAT IS GOING-" He stopped dead as soon as he was able to take in the scene around him. It looked like a bakery gone horribly, horribly wrong. There was some kind of, for want of a better word, _food _splattered all over the walls and table, although it hardly looked edible. Several bowls were broken and shattered all over the floor, and Nemu's arm was still bleeding slightly from her flight across the table. The captain and vice-captain both had whatever substance they were working with smeared all down their fronts. Nemu was holding a clipboard and pen, and Mayuri a clipboard. There was an unconscious and stunningly bright green division member slumped over in a corner. Curiously, his face was covered with the same "food" that was on the walls and clothes of the two researchers.

"What _is_ going on?" His head was cleared of everything but that one thought. _What was going on?_

"Hn. We're testing that human girl Inoue's cooking samples for deadly toxins and undiscovered poisonous chemicals." Mayuri said as if this should be obvious. "Thus far we haven't found much besides abundant fumes of carbon monoxide, although I believe there are traces of something to rat poison in this one…" He leaned over and smelled, somehow immune to the putrid odor. "Tuna fish served in gazpacho with hard boiled eggs. When that girl becomes a Shinigami, I must reserve her for the Twelfth Division… Such a brilliant poison formula…"

"Then why were you talking about using _my_ sister?" Byakuya demanded.

"These useless research specimens we're using as taste testers keep falling into comas during the first round of experiments," Mayuri said disgustedly. "So weak. I should just kill them and have it done with. I need someone durable who won't black out after smelling one simple chemical compound!" He waved his pale hand in the air, extremely irritated.

"You were going to use Rukia as a _taste tester?"_ Byakuya demanded, not sure if he should panic or be relieved that he had stopped them in time. He saw with his own eyes what that human girl could do to people with her "recipes." At that moment, however, he made the mistake of breathing through his nose, and the close proximity of the poison was too much in his weakened physical state. He swayed on the spot and then fell, blacking out before he hit the ground.

Somewhere far away, Yoruichi grinned, not knowing why. The only thing she smelled was the sweet scent of victory not far away.

* * *

**A/N: I know you all want to know who the person is going to be who finally convinces Byakuya, but too bad! You have to wait until next week and be surprised! Because I'm just evil like that, I know. I think I'm going to be sad when this thing is over…**

**18 reviews for chapter 8, that's just… wow. I think I might be able to get to 100 reviews with this chapter! Reviews are like crack! Review so I can support my addiction! Thank you for reviewing the last chapter: Renji9031, Lord Slayer, Clare, BadyGuz, z3HAYden, acer-sigma, xXxMiserableLoveFairyxXx, Sk8rnerdbleach, tlg, dragonarenumber1, Neverwinternightsgirl777, Kaiser Washington, othchick11, Bag o' Moon Frogs, darklover, OkamiKunoichi21, Yunagirl22, and ichirukifan13! **


	10. Hisana

**A/N: None of you guessed Hisana! I was kind of surprised! Who better to convince Byakuya than the one person he really loved? Almost the entire chapter is Byakuya's dream (and therefore extremely depressing, but of course, what did you expect?). Anyway, Bleach: property of Tite Kubo. Hisana (my version)/all Hisana theories in this chapter: Property of me! No stealing!**

* * *

Byakuya only had time to think _why me_ one more time before everything went black. The voices of the two mad scientists faded out, but a new one surfaced soon after that, bringing him back.

"Sir? Sir, I need to see the pharmacist about medicine for one of the children, but I can't find his shop. Would you happen to have directions?" Byakuya jerked out of his stupor and turned back to the tiny black haired girl looking at him anxiously.

"Oh! Certainly. Just follow that street down to the intersection and take a left. It's the first place on the right." The young Kuchiki lord knew Inuzuri inside and out. He was there on an errand for Grandfather Ginrei at the time. The petite woman stood there for a while as if in thought.

"Thank you!" she sang cheerfully, apparently having made up her mind. She smiled sweetly, and then punched him in the face and ran off with his wallet. To say that Byakuya was completely caught off guard would be an understatement. After several minutes of chasing the thief through the busy Rukongai market, he almost caught her at the pharmacist's before she darted off again. Damn, but she was fast_._ He wondered if by chance she was another student of the Demon Cat's. Finally defeated, he doubled over, gasping for breath. The woman, whom he had nicknamed "Dart Girl," after her speed, disappeared among the houses. Byakuya glared in frustration. It's not like he cared about the money- he just hated losing, especially to a peasant girl with no powers to speak of besides a faint spiritual pressure.

It was on the way back to Kuchiki Mansion that he stumbled upon a house- well, not really a house- a tiny hovel built on muddy ground from sticks and driftwood. From his view by the window, he could see that there was no floor, only dirt. There was nothing but a small fire to keep the inhabitants of such an unfit dwelling warm. Said inhabitants consisted of five small children and Dart Girl. The latter was currently forcing medicine from the pharmacist down a sickly little one's throat. _So she wasn't lying about the children,_ Byakuya thought. _Are they hers? _Now she was dividing a loaf of bread- their only food- into the hands of her charges. _No, _He decided. _They don't look anything like her._ She looked up suddenly, and he ducked his head. But he didn't enter the house and charge her with theft and physical assault as he had originally intended. Instead, he left the rest of the money he had with him at the foot of their door. That loaf of bread was the only thing they had to eat- they needed it more than he did.

This continued for several weeks. Byakuya made trips to Dart Girl's house and provided them with enough money for food and the youngest child's medicine. Sometimes he would stay and watch their expressions when they saw more food on the table than the previous night. Dart Girl, he found out, had a name. It was Hisana. As the days went on, Byakuya started to admire her for the courage and charity of taking in five orphans and trying to feed them all herself. He also observed that sometimes, as the children were stuffing their faces, the expression on her face seemed… guilty. As if she was trying to make up for something by taking care of these orphans and living in poverty.

He was on one of these trips when he suddenly felt a skeletal hand on his shoulder. She was scrawny, he realized, even though she had been eating more.

"And why are _you_ here again? Watching my family? What the hell do you want with us, you lousy noble?" Hisana demanded all in one breath, facing him. Despite her small stature, her presence was still rather imposing.

"You saw me?" This was surprising. She must have a cat's hearing if she was able to discover him while he was being so quiet.

"Yeah, I did. You stalker! Don't you remember that black eye I gave you at the market? Do you want another one, pretty boy?" She threw in a menacing glare, but looked nervous in spite of herself. He was, after all, both a Soul Reaper and a noble.

Byakuya remembered that night all too well. After stuttering his most sincere apologies (although still slightly offended at the "stalker" jibe), he offered her a home in the Kuchiki Mansion. At first, she refused- that guilty look was back again- but he managed to talk her into it. For some reason, Byakuya found himself wanting her to accept. In the end, she only agreed to stay under the condition that she and her orphans would work for their keep.

They were married a year later after Byakuya realized that he had been in love with her for a long time. One of Hisana's first requests after the wedding was for the children, now teenagers, to be registered at the Shinigami Academy. "To protect themselves," she said. He gladly obliged, and used his position as Kuchiki clan leader to pull a few strings and allow them into the Soul Society's only school. He also took her around the Gotai 13 to meet the captains and his fellow vice-captains (Although he skipped the Eleventh and Twelfth divisions). When Hisana watched sparring practice and mentioned that she would like to learn, Captain Unohana immediately offered to give her Kendo lessons. The two became fast friends. But when Yoruichi started working on shunpo with her, Byakuya decided that it was time to run _far, far_ away before he died at the hands of his own wife.

Still, Byakuya kept getting the feeling that Hisana was keeping something from him. She went out to the Inuzuri every day, sometimes for hours, and came home with the same miserable guilty expression that he had first noticed about her. She became sentimental and anxious at the funerals of complete strangers and would often cry and ask the name of the person who died. And every time Byakuya told her, she immediately looked relieved, but didn't stop crying. Once he thought he heard her whisper, "Not Rukia."

"Um, Hisana? Who is Rukia?"

"Nobody. Rukia is nobody."

"But-"

"If you don't shut your trap, it's going to be you in that coffin." Byakuya shut up. It was best not to anger someone who was training with two of the most deadly women in Soul Society. But even through the tense moments, he was completely happy for the next five years.

In the spring of the fifth year, Hisana caught a flu virus that was going around. Byakuya was concerned- her health had always been somewhat fragile. But she just laughed it off and asked him, "Are you going to send me to Unohana-san every time I catch a cold?" She refused treatment and continued to train and go on her daily outings to the Inuzuri, no matter how much he protested. Her health was getting worse and worse, until finally she couldn't take it anymore, and collapsed out of her chair while they were eating dinner. When she came to minutes later, he immediately tried to convince her to accept treatment, but she was more stubborn than ever.

"While I appreciate the gesture, Curlerman, my health is fine. I'm only tired."

"But Hisana, Captain Unohana could fix whatever you have in an instant-"

"I SAID SHUT IT, CURLERMAN!"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT STUPID NICKNAME, DART GIRL!"

The conversation ended there.

The second time she collapsed was during a practice match with Unohana herself, who of course would not let the situation go so easily. Hisana was brought back to the Fourth Division with the combined forces of both her friend and her husband, all the way promising to kill Byakuya once she was let out.

She escaped twice after that without the attention of her caretaker (using shunpo that would have made Yoruichi proud), only to be found unconscious in the Inuzuri. Her health was depleting rapidly and she was losing weight. Unohana did everything she could to save her, but the illness was too far along. The next time Byakuya saw the Fourth Division captain, she was wearing the same grim expression she had when delivering the news that his mother was dying. Hisana was down to her last minutes. In those minutes she explained everything, including the mysterious "Rukia." He swore that he would do whatever it took to grant her last wish, and he would never let what happened to Hisana happen to her sister. As his beloved wife drew her last breath, Byakuya woke up.

"Nightmare, Byaku-bo? They do say that near death experiences can be quite dream inducing." That voice brought back memories. Including…

"_And do you think that's what she really meant, Byakuya?" she asked, dropping the nickname and suddenly completely serious. Byakuya was lost on that one._

"_What?"_

"_Nothing. Just remember- you may not be able to lose in a contest of stubbornness, but __I__ can't lose in a contest of persistence. And I have friends," she added on an afterthought. "Well, I guess that's it. Ja ne, Byaku-bo."_

Because of Byakuya's social standing, Hisana had been able to have access to training that she wouldn't otherwise. It had saved her life more than once- one time she even took out a Hollow only using Kendo. Her orphan "children" had been sent to the academy to become Shinigami. So when she asked him to use his power to protect her sister, she meant…

"_You."_ He turned on the demon cat with crazed, bloodshot eyes. "You waited _this long _let me figure out what she really meant?" Yoruichi threw back her head and laughed longer and harder than she had for a long time.

"Oh, Byaku-bo. The constant source of entertainment," She said with tears running down her face. "I gave you hints. A lot of hints. So you finally realized that 'protect my sister' _doesn't_ mean breathe down her neck every half a second? Of all the idiotic-" She had to stop for another fit of laughing, choosing to ignore Byakuya's death glare.

"Wait- what did you say about near death experiences?"

"You almost died." It wasn't the first time Yoruichi had rolled her eyes that day. "A combination of mental exhaustion, nervous breakdown, and whatever kind of poison you breathed in at Captain Creepy's lab. Only you, Byaku-bo, would get yourself killed over a little bit of teasing."

"Where-"

"Unohana came just in time to save you from being a lab rat. You're in the Fourth Division." The triumphant smile he only knew too well took over her face. "I win, Byaku-bo." Byakuya could practically hear the smirk in her voice, but ignored it. With realization fresh in his mind, he dashed out of the Fourth Division, knocking a few people down in the process, and charged the doors of the Thirteenth Division.

Ukitake looked up calmly from his newly completed paperwork. "Yoruichi said I should expect you soon. Is everything alright?"

"Promote her."

"Wha- excuse me?"

"Promote Rukia already! You have my permission! Just _leave me alone!"_

"Are you sure? I don't want to force you to do something you don't want to-"

"_JUST DO IT!"_ Ukitake, though surprised by this sudden, unexpected (and loud) announcement, smiled and said, "Thank you. I knew you would see-" he stopped there. There was no point in talking to an unconscious person.

The only step left was telling the news to Rukia.

* * *

**A/N: To the many people who have asked, Rukia has no idea that any of this is going on. She's in the Real World, living in Ichigo's closet and completely oblivious to the whole thing. (Urahara blackmailed Ichigo into silence.)**

**Writing this chapter almost made me cry. If a part didn't make sense to you, I'll be happy to clarify. I **_**swear,**_** the next (and last!) chapter will be funny.**

**As always, I want to thank my amazing, awesome, wonderful reviewers: **

**xXxMiserableLoveFairyxXx, Kaiser Washington, x3HAYden, Sk8rnerdbleach, acer-sigma, Lacey4317, othchick11, Llyssa-maiden, Neverwinternightsgirl777, The Crazy Chick In Black, Master Solo, Yunagirl22, hinamori-momo, tlg, XLightningX, kRyStAlt3aRz, Shinichi06, Illidan the Half Demon, MeoSua, ByakuyaHisana (I'm guessing you liked this chapter, yes?), and Lord Slayer! Stay tuned!**


	11. Telling Rukia

**A/N: IT'S THE LAST CHAPTER! I'm kind of relieved and sad at the same time. And I'm so, so sorry about the extremely late update. I had writer's block and a whole lot of extra homework due to science expo and crap. The sequel will be written once my muse returns.**

* * *

Meanwhile, in the much less chaotic Living World…

Ichigo mentally vowed to slaughter Urahara once this was over. If Rukia didn't kill him first, that is. "Um, hey Rukia?"

"Yeah, what?" The tiny girl snapped, annoyed that she had been interrupted from the "Living World research" that she had been working on so diligently.

"Well… you know how your squad doesn't have a vice-captain anymore?" He should have known he was treading dangerous water. Kaien was a touchy subject for Rukia. So maybe he should have expected for a drawing pad to launch itself across the room and collide with his face- but he didn't. "OW! What was that for, midget?"

Rukia stood on the other end of the room, death glaring and brandishing her fist. "What about Kaien, Ichigo?"

"N-nothing! I was just asking if you knew," he stammered hastily as some kind of apology.

"You were asking if I knew that my squad has no vice-captain?"

"Yeah." _Renji, you had better get here soon._

Back in the Soul Society, the Red Pineapple still couldn't figure out how they did it.

"So you're saying that my captain, _my _captain, agreed to let you promote Rukia when he has never agreed to do _anything_ in his_ entire life? _Without getting shredded in the process?"

"It was really Yoruichi who did most of the convincing. I'm still not quite sure how she did it. But yes, Captain Kuchiki agreed in the end. He's unconscious in my office right now," Ukitake explained, laughing uneasily. Renji's eyes bulged out of their sockets. "The Senkaimon is open. You know what to do?" the older man asked, temporarily snapping the redhead out of his shock.

"Yes, sir. Go to the world of the living, drag Rukia kicking and screaming out of Ichigo's house, and bring her back to the Thirteenth Squad barracks," Renji recited his orders.

"I suppose it would be useless for me to ask if you could do without the kicking and screaming part," Ukitake said, frowning slightly.

"Yep."

"Alright. You'll probably end up more heavily injured than Rukia, anyway. Try to get everyone back in one piece." Renji nodded and saluted to Ukitake before disappearing through the Senkaimon.

After a few minutes, Ichigo, who was being held in a headlock position, heard a familiar voice outside his bedroom. _Thanks be to everything holy. _

"ICHIGO! Are you going to open the window, or do I have to dress up like a cop again?"

"IT'S OPEN!" Ichigo yelled in return. The panes rattled against the walls as Renji slammed them wide open and beheld the other boy's situation.

"Do I even want to know?" Renji asked, one tattooed eyebrow raised. Ichigo shook his head emphatically. "All right, then. Come on Rukia, Berry Boy, it's time to leave." Ichigo looked so relieved to be saved that he didn't even respond to the nickname. Rukia wasn't such an easy case.

"So you think you can just walk in and tell me what to do and where to go? Is that it, Renji?"

"Don't force me to make it an order, Kuchiki," Renji said, deciding to mess with her a little bit before the official promotion. Rukia kicked him, hard.

"DON'T YOU _DARE _PULL RANK ON ME, ABARAI!"

"I'M SORRY! HAVE MERCY!"

"Hey, you two, can we PLEASE just leave now?" Ichigo asked, scowling ferociously. A few red faced apologies and grudging truces were made. It was for the best- Renji had been pushing the limit too far. At least he was still in one piece, although that was subject to change as soon as they made the trip back to Juusanbantai. The room was dark when Rukia opened the door. This wasn't what Ichigo or Renji had been expecting.

"Uh…"

"Ukitake…?"

"What's-"

"SURPRISE!" The lights came on. Rukia was so startled that she nearly fell down. The redhead boys jumped, then looked around the room in disbelief. The practical Thirteenth Division had been utterly transformed into a modern, Living World social club. Every person who had helped with Yoruichi's plan was there (well, Soifon and Kisuke had been there, but got caught up in another one of their "arguments" and were nowhere to be found.) Even Byakuya, who had finally woken up, was there, death glaring everyone who got within ten feet of him. In the middle of the table there was a massive cake reading: "Congratulations, Juusanbantai Fukutaicho!"

The only emotion that could be seen on Rukia's face was that of extreme confusion. "I'm sorry, what's going on…?" That was when Yoruichi decided to help her out.

"Well, I guess what we're saying is, in short, congratulations on your new promotion!" she said, grinning ear to ear. Byakuya's death glare intensified by several watts. When Rukia still looked confused, Ukitake stepped forward and handed her a wrapped package.

"Open it now, please."

"Uh… yes, sir." The paper was hurriedly ripped off the paper to reveal… "A vice captain's badge?" She looked up at him quizzically. He beamed back down at her.

"Congratulations, Kuchiki." Comprehension flickered across Rukia's face, and then she stared at Byakuya like he was some kind of monster from outer space.

"You can't be serious…"

Captain Kuchiki sighed resignedly. He might as well make it official. "I, Byakuya Kuchiki, as the head of the Kuchiki clan, hereby give you, Rukia Kuchiki, permission to assume the title of Thirteenth Division vice-captain. There, I said it." The death glaring resumed. The newly promoted Rukia only had a second to marvel at her brother's out of character behavior before she was yanked into the thick of the party. Byakuya watched from the sidelines, being his normal antisocial self, before Rukia and friends dragged him into some idiotic human game called "karaoke". Rukia seemed to enjoy the game quite a lot herself; she did several solos and duets with just about everybody before she turned on him. Resistance was futile and somehow he found himself singing, actually _singing,_ a duet with his little sister. After much cheering, begging, pleading, and pestering, he also did a solo, and although he would never admit it to anyone, actually enjoyed himself a little bit.

He could see, though, that he wasn't the only one being forced. Yachiru had somehow gotten her entire "family" to sing songs with her. Momo could be seen pleading with Captain Hitsugaya after she finished her solo. Byakuya knew he would give in. If Toshiro had a weakness, it was her.

"Oh, come on, Shiro-chan! It's so much fun!"

"I said no! And stop calling me Shiro-chan!"

Sure enough, five minutes later, the white haired boy was up on the stage, wondering how he had gotten there. Kiyone had to leave when Ukitake stood up to sing, absolutely convinced that she could hear Kaien's voice singing with him. Meanwhile, Byakuya was choking down a piece of cake that Yachiru had shoved at him and was now watching him closely to make sure he ate it all._ I hate sweets. _But he still managed to stomach it.

All seemed to be well when an unbelievably loud alarm bell sounded throughout the division.

"ATTENTION, ATTENTION ALL SQUAD THIRTEEN MEMBERS! YOU ARE NEEDED IMMEDIATELY IN THE 76TH DISTRICT OF THE RUKONGAI TO FIGHT AN ARMY OF THIRTY MENOS GRANDE!"

Yoruichi chuckled. "Well, I guess our guest of honor is off now. Do we want to continue with the party, or-" Byakuya's face was priceless.

"There is NO WAY I'm letting-" he stopped talking, realizing that Yoruichi had started laughing hysterically.

"False alarm, Byaku-bo, false alarm. I just wanted to see that look on your face, and it was totally worth it. Not letting go so easily, are you?" She smirked.

"DEMON CAT! Why, you-" The guests spent the rest of the party watching a very amusing chase between the were-cat and a finally broken Byakuya.

All's well that ends well.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, I know my conclusions are horrible, you don't have to tell me. They're my weak point when it comes to writing- my English teacher comments on it all the time. Anyway, yay for happy endings, right? **

**Yeah, the karaoke… I couldn't resist adding that in. ALL OF THE SOLOS AND DUETS MENTIONED IN THIS CHAPTER ARE REAL SONGS! The Bleach Beat Collection. I'm dead serious. Here are some of the songs if you want to look them up.**

Byakuya solo: Yozora no Kawa

Byakuya/Rukia duet: Listen to One Story

Rukia solos: Kaze/ Ten no Hoshi/ Hibiku

Ichigo solos: My Blade, as My Pride/ SKY HIGH/ Tattoos on the Sky

Rukia/Orihime duet: Holy Fight

Orihime solo: La la la

Renji solo: Standing To Defend You

Ichigo/Rukia duet: Memories in the Rain

11th Division quartet: We

Yachiru solo: Funny Days

Kenpachi solo: Come to LIKE it. This FIGHT now.

Hinamori solo: Momoiro no Hana

Toshiro solo: This Light I See

Rangiku solo: Ranka~ RANKA

Ukitake solo: Kotonoba

Kaien solo: Nimorebi

Ukitake/Kaien duet: Fuu~ Inochi

**There are also songs for some of the Espada and a few other characters.**

**Okay, one last time, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed:**

**The Crazy Chick In Black, Sk8rnerdbleach, tlg, Insanity Lord, Renji9031, OkamiKunoichi21, Kaiser Washington, acer-sigma, Neverwinternightsgirl777, othchick11, Lord Slayer, phoenix-aerith, Illidan the Half Demon, darklover, Master Solo, scorpioneldar, and Bag o' Moon Frogs!!**

**I would especially like to thank all of you wonderful, awesome, amazing people who review every chapter! You have no idea how much I love you guys. Also, thank you in advance to the people who review this chapter!**

**Goodbye for now!**


End file.
